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***Spoiler Alert***

Nate Kulina, we miss you.

The youngest of the Kulina men, abandoned young by a mother who was deep into addiction, and a father who was there, but not really there.  Leaving him to grow up under the close watch of his older brother, Jay, and in turn becomes oddly the most stable of them all. The son that Alvey is happy to train, the Kulina who stays clean, a talented fighter who doesn’t quite have the edge to do what needs to be done. I have to say, at first I was unsure about Nick Jonas in this role. But, he fills out the character in a perfectly understated way that matches Nate’s personality and tone.

Nate’s quiet, observant nature hides his humor and intelligence from those who don’t know him. Underneath the MMA training, and the signature Kulina swagger, is a sensitive soul hiding many secrets. Like most quiet, introspective people, myself included, he has a tendency to bottle up his feelings. Even those closest to him never really see the depths of who he is, unlike Jay, who’s every emotion you can read on his face. And while Jay is the more obvious to pop off and get into trouble, keeping all of your feelings stored up like that can result in random snapping, moments of rage where it all becomes too much and the pressure explodes. It makes a person dangerous in a different way, unpredictable to a degree, and unable to control their anger once the pressure valve is released. Add in having to suppress a huge part of who he is – his sexuality – and Nate becomes a bomb waiting to explode.

As well adjusted as Nate is, you can still see the walls he has built around him, in his relationship with Will there always seems to be a line he won’t cross. In his relationship with Alvey, an uneasy tension prompted by his secret. In his relationship with Christina, a mistrust that she can never fix, damage that can never be totally repaired. Even with Jay, his brother, his pseudo parent, the person he most trusts in the world, he hides his biggest secret for a long time.

But in Season 3, we start to see Nate really become comfortable with who he is. He’s still largely hiding his relationship with Will, but knows he needs to tell Alvey. He wants to continue fighting. He keeps standing up to Jay, forcing him to see that Jay hurting himself in turn hurts Nate, but now also hurts his own daughter. And in one of his last acts alive, he calls Jay’s ex, Amy, on his behalf, leaving a message that you hope Amy returned. It’s a testament to Nate’s loyal nature, his desire and ability to be a solid source of support. A glimpse into his future, who he could be in 10, 20, 30 years.

I’ve compared the Kulina men to street cats in the past. Jay and Alvey are so similar, like street cats who were abandoned early and taken in by a neighbor later on – always skittish and never totally trusting. Nate is the street cat who was abandoned early and adopted into a home quickly, his animal instincts are dulled. The razor sharp sense of survival that really rules both Alvey and Jay isn’t seen in Nate at such a honed level.  It’s there underneath, and what makes him a good fighter, but not enough to fight with no hesitation.  And it’s also what contributes to his death.

While Jay is so overly aware of what the situation is at the bar in Tucson, knowing the bouncer has a gun, seeing how out of control it might get in a split second, Nate can only focus on his rage and pain. The one they all tried to protect most – Alvey, Jay, and even Christina in her own way – is lost too young in a terrible accident. Jay’s dedication to his brother, Alvey’s real attempt at being a parent, Christina trying to win back Nate’s trust. Did it all contribute to dulling that survival instinct? Would he be alive if the circumstances were different? Maybe. And he’d likely be a very different person, far more jaded and closed off. Because for Nate, Jay is his nuclear family. Alvey’s there and trying, and that’s appreciated, but Jay in many ways is Nate’s only parent. He did everything possible to support Nate, there’s an unbreakable bond between them. While Jay knows the pain of having both his parents around and then losing that support and love, Nate only really remembers having Jay to count on and take care of things.  He doesn’t trust Christina, and right down to the end, he’d turn his back on her if it meant saving Jay.

When you look at the Kulina family, all statistics point to Jay or Christina overdosing, or Alvey’s body giving up, long before even thinking that Nate could be the one to die first. It’s a cruel world, taking away the young, those with the most promise, the ones you least expect. And it isn’t just the life lost, but the life that could’ve been is lost as well. All the years to come, gone in a flash.

For me, Nate’s biggest contribution to the show is the ultimate lesson we all learn at the end. Not just the audience, but the entire Kingdom universe. You don’t know when it’s going to be your last moment. Say what you need to say, do what you need to do, don’t wait because that chance may never come again. Live your truth, and there will be no regret. In his final moments, Nate opened up completely to the one person in his life he hadn’t been able to, his father. And while it some small way triggers the chaos that kills him, it also frees him in his last minutes. To really been seen for who he is, finally.

“Kingdom”: Let’s Talk King Kulina

“Kingdom”: The Arizona Episodes

“Kingdom” Season 2: The Tragedy of Jay Kulina

Deep Dive: Jay Kulina of “Kingdom”

Sleepers: “Kingdom”